A Guide to handling tasks and chores and goals and such things

(or, like, managing myself effectively in life, I guess?)

The Problem With Doing Things

  • Creativity: My mind is usually overflowing with a lot of ideas, impulses, wants, thoughts, perspectives. It's hard to sort through it and hard to prioritize. It can also be hard to translate good ideas into action or something physical.

The Result: STRESS, GUILT, FRUSTRATION at the tasks, a sense of INCOMPETENCE AND FEAR in the face of new problems, challenges and life itself, a sense of FAILURE AND SHAME over the life it results in, and HOPELESSNESS AND DESPAIR because I see no way it can change when I can't even do anything.

Attempts to Fix It

The Way Out

The fatal flaw is rigidity and overcontrolling expectations. I cannot account or plan for every little detail or get everything right or figure out the perfect plan (Te grip). It's not a realistic way to live life, and it's certainly not the way for me. Even if I had this perfect plan, I would not be satisfied and it would never be executed. The way for me is: creative exploration and small adjustments (Ne).

I don't have to be certain or have a grand plan to do things... I can just do them...
Small adjustments: Doing things a little differently can lead to different outcomes. Just a little shift in the right direction is very useful. I can try one thing once, then if it works, I can do it again (or not if I forget). From this experience I can learn and navigate a little differently. THIS is what will lead to change.
Faith in change: Everything changes all the time, and things turn out differently than you expect. I know that small events can have compound effects that lead to bigger changes. (If I hadn't sat down in that spot in that time, we would never have met, I would have never been included at that party, I would have never met the other people, I wouldn't have thay study group and I might not have that confidence or safety and I might not do that interview and realize my own position.)
Embracing discomfort and failure: Even uncomfortable situations and things that don't work out as wanted are valuable teachers and areas for growth, change of direction, or something unexpected might arise out of it.

By actually showing myself that I can do stuff little by little, day by day, I will start to trust myself when I dedicate myself to something; I will believe in my ability to change things. I'll take more responsibility for my own life and it will be more directed.

Thinking errors

Foreverizing: "If I do this thing today, I have to turn it into a routine and that's too much and not what I want to do with my life" - or I can just do it today, take it day by day

Managing those pesky tasks

  • Limit it in time; set a literal timer. I can do that. Remind me that it's just this one moment.

DA GOALZ

  1. find ways that work for me to... do things... which is hard...
  2. and actually use them (not looking for something new or better all the time)

DA PROBLEMZ

  1. It's hard to make decisions and choose because well always seeing all the possibilities of what else I could do or what could go wrong and then... I don't know what to do, so I never comitt to anything,
  2. I'm very averse to choosing the wrong thing, so I never choose
  3. I hate doing things that are hard or boring, so I don't start on them
  4. I can't plan out exactly how to do things in my head and I get very confused
  5. I just really don't understand how to... do things or like... yeah how things work.
  6. When there's resistance, I get insanely frustrated and give up easily

BUT REMEMBER: A small, even the tiniest, change in perspective, thought, patterns, habits, action, speech, manner could change a lot or everything. Things aren't doomed just because I notice a pattern or tendency or whatever. Also, I can't just "figure it out" by hyperanalyzing and planning it out (because I suck at that), but by actually executing small changes in real time, seeing what happens, then using that experience forward. My "road to freedom" is TRYING SMALL THINGS.

Let go of rigidity, need for security and control and being fixed to a desired outcome. Go a long with the journey a little. Dare to take some steps and see what happens. A little does a lot. There's no one method or system to everything. There's no "one" answer out there. Make moves, make waves, see what moves, what flows.